Most people talk excitedly about the New Year as a new beginning, a fresh new start. For some reason, I haven’t been able to get into it this year.

Maybe it’s because I’m always making promises I don’t keep, and it gets old after awhile. Why make year-long resolutions when I’m not fulfilling my week-long promises?

I heard one man say he hesitated to make resolutions for things he should already be doing. I tend to agree with him.

Others advise you not to make resolutions; set goals instead. I agree with them, too.

Setting Career Goals

Lori Widmer at Words on a Page has challenged her readers to not only set career goals but to share monthly assessments. It’s a good challenge, designed to help freelancers advance their careers. I wanted to accept the challenge, but I didn’t. My hesitancy came not only from the fear of aiming too high and then failing but of publicizing that failure.

I also realized that, at almost 62 years old, pursuing a career is not my aim. It never has been. Sure, I want to be recognized for any professional skills I have developed. And getting paid what I’m worth is a desirable way to measure such recognition.

For me, gainful employment is a means to an end – a way to make ends meet. When our children were at home, I wanted to be available to them as much as possible, so I never worked more than a part-time job outside the home. Now that I’m nearing the age at which my mother retired from full-time work, I don’t have the inclination for it.

The freelance business I have run for the last 20 years (plus a laptop and the internet!) helps give us the freedom and means to travel both stateside and overseas to visit family and longtime friends. An aggressive career plan would take away that freedom.

Best Impulses

Experience and observation have taught me that when you follow your best impulses, good things happen – financially and otherwise.

With that in mind, I’ve decided to approach the coming months not with specific resolutions or goals, but with a motto: “Act on your best impulses.”

By nature, I’m not impulsive. I want time to consider long term benefits or possible regrets. I don’t want to get caught up in something, unable to find my way out. Besides, people who act impulsively are more likely to make mistakes, right?

But you and I both know the difference between foolish and “best” impulses. By definition, impulses involve immediate action. Best impulses benefit others.

Mine usually involve encouraging someone with a phone call, note, or even a blog comment. I’ll think, “I ought to….” And there it stops.

I either procrastinate or talk myself out of it: What if she’s asleep? What if I say the wrong thing and do more harm than good? Will it make any difference?

Rewards

Last week, in keeping with this motto, I followed a best impulse. I called an acquaintance whose depression is closely related to chronic physical pain. I don’t know her well, am always afraid I’ll intrude, won’t know what to say. Amazingly, I seemed to call at the moment she wanted to talk. All I had to say was “I’m calling to see if you’re home from the hospital.” She carried the rest of the conversation.

That positive result validated my intent. So now when I get one of those “best impulses” – which usually come when I’m doing mindless work – I’ll put down the broom, the dishcloth or the laundry and write the thank you note. I’ll make the phone call that turns “someday” into Thursday at 11.

I may even get excited about entering this New Year. May it bring plenty of best impulses.

More to the point, may we all act on them.

Talk to me: What are your “best impulses”? What has been a reward of acting on them? What happens when you don’t act immediately?

This is a continuation of a 3-Act Play. See Act 1, “The Conflict,” and Act 2 “The Consultant and the Boss”

Productivity Consultant:

Boss-Cheryl, I trust you’ve worked this week on being more aware of Cheryl’s time and energy restraints. And Employee-Cheryl, I hope you appreciate the changes that Boss-Cheryl is willing to make on your behalf.

This is how you can help her.

1. Budget your time like you budget your money.

I know you’re a Dave Ramsey fan, and you use his envelope system well. You decide what you’ll spend on groceries, clothing, fuel and entertainment, then you stick the cash in an envelope. You know that when the envelope’s empty, the buying is finished.

However, there’s an important difference between income and time: Income can grow; time is static.

So this is my suggestion: Your time schedule is a good start. Now, start looking at the time segments she has created as “envelopes of time.”

When your morning work segment has come to an end, that “time envelope” is empty – and you must move on to the housework segment. Be ruthless at first. Of course, you may have to adjust the schedule when you’re working directly with clients, but at least you’ll learn what’s practical.

2. Schedule a no-screen day each week – which means the computer is off all day.

Your boss doesn’t expect you to work every day. In fact, she doesn’t think it’s good for you.

Remember those computer-free Sundays you had for a while? Remember how peaceful they were? How you moved around the house, read, tidied up, took a walk, or called one of your kids? Remember that great Sunday-night Jane Austen series on Masterpiece Theater you watched? Remember how refreshed you felt on Monday morning?

You’ve fallen back into the habit of saving your writing tasks until Sunday afternoon. Then you feel like a martyr because it seems like you never get a break.

3. This may sound harsh, but you’re an embezzler.

It’s not money: it’s worse than money. You embezzle time, which can’t be replaced. You think you can steal a little here, a little there, thinking you can put it back later. But those minutes – those hours – are irreplaceable. You can never put them back.

That’s why sometimes when you get to the end of the day, you feel like you haven’t accomplished anything!

To Both of You: Recognize your priorities, and plan for interruptions.

As Cindy pointed out in her comment on Life Is Full of Choices, “The hardest part…is dealing with delays you didn’t cause — like sickness, or losing a family member you love. That can put you in a black hole not of your own choosing.”

The fact that these incidents cause delays means you know what’s really most important: Your relationships.

You realize that your business, your busy-ness, and any income that comes as a result, are merely means to an end. It means you can be a giver rather than a receiver; it means you can travel to see your grandbabies. It means you’re doing what you can to prevent being a burden to your children as you age.

When “life happens,” you’ll wish you had back the time you had wasted, you’ll wish you had finished your projects early and paid more attention to the people that are important to you.

Wrapping It Up

Make peace with your selves.

Boss, be aware of Employee’s limitations before you make a decision that involves her.

Employee, don’t you feel good, now that you’ve finished not one, not two, but three blogs this week?

Act 2: The Consultant and the Boss

See Act 1, “The Conflict,” where Self-Employee-Cheryl rebels against the work schedule that Boss-Cheryl has set for her, while also complaining of interference in her personal life.

Productivity Consultant:

As usual, both of you bear some blame for this conflict between work schedules and personal life. I’ll address my first comments to you, Boss, because it seems you have some unrealistic expectations.

1. First, purge your to-do list.

You add things to Cheryl’s duties that just pop into your head. Sometimes they’re not necessary or even helpful. But you know that once it’s on that list, it nags and nags at her.

Worse, you make her use an Outlook reminder that pops up and reminds her of what she hasn’t done. Just “as the LORD gives and the LORD takes away” – since you put it on that list, you can take it off!

2. Count the cost before agreeing to a project.

Remember your friend Kelly? As I remember, she had an impressive “house rule.” Because of limited storage in her house, she persuaded her family to think twice about every purchase. With every book, pair of jeans or piece of furniture that came into the house, an older one needed to leave.

In the same way, Cheryl’s time is limited. When you make an eight-hour commitment for her, what activity will you remove from her life? Sleep? Play? Exercise? Time with her friends and family?

Count the cost before you make promises she must keep. It will give you a more productive employee. (By the way, it wouldn’t hurt you to try that “tossing out” thing.)

3. Be aware of energy constraints.

Cheryl doesn’t have unlimited time. At her age (!), she doesn’t have unlimited energy, either. Give her only the responsibilities that are worthy of her energy.

Your friend Mitzi touched on this when she commented on the Life Is Full of Choices post. “If I expend the energy to do something, I want it to have, at least somewhat, lasting value (which is why I don’t do housework.) My time and energy are limited and I would like it to have made at least a little bit of difference when I have no more.”

Productivity Consultant:

That should give you something to work on this week. I’ll be back on Friday to see how it’s going.

Don’t think I’ve let you off the hook, Cheryl-Employee.  Between now and Friday, you need to work on your attitude. Maybe then you’ll be ready to hear what else I have to say.

Act 1: The Conflict

Employee:

I wish my boss would get off my back.

Sure, she schedules me for only 26 hours of work a week. And when I want to go off on a trip somewhere, all I have to do is give her a couple of weeks’ notice. Oh, yes, she also provides health insurance.

But she’s put this schedule on my desk, telling me which hours to work, when to take lunch, even when to do my housework.

She tells me that if I want to have any personal time in the morning, I must get up at 5:30, be dressed and ready to walk at 7:00, eat breakfast and be at my desk by 8:30.

And those items on the To-Do List she keeps piling on?! What an unreasonable, insensitive nag!

Well, I’ll show her! I’m taking a break and playing a game of FreeCell! Then I’m going to the kitchen for a snack.

Boss:

Go ahead! Play your games. Eat your apple.

But don’t come complaining to me that you’re behind schedule on two of your three blogs, your family reunion commitments, and following up on another possible paying job.

Don’t complain to me because your kitchen’s a mess, and once again, you’re getting your food to the Community Center on Friday afternoon just in the nick of time before it closes.

Sure! Go ahead! Check the latest messages on Facebook! Read every e-mail the minute it pops up. Follow every link that looks remotely interesting. You can always do your work later!

And I hear you’ve made plans to be gone most of the day on Saturday. Just when are you going to do all the work you’ve put off ‘til then?

Oh, by the way. While you were out, your daughter called. Looks like her baby may be coming earlier than planned.

Employee: Oh, no! I’m not ready! And she told you instead of me?

I can’t believe how you interfere in my personal life. I demand we call in someone to sort this out. It’s not working.

Boss: You’re right. And I know just the person. A Productivity Consultant.

Employee: Is she someone I can trust?

Boss: I think so! She’s you!

Who do you think is at fault here? What advice do you expect Productivity Consultant-Cheryl to give?

Come back on Wednesday for Act 2, in which Productivity Consultant-Cheryl advises Boss-Cheryl and Employee-Cheryl on ways they can resolve this conflict.

Your email:

 

When my children lived at home, they heard that often from me.

I would use the phrase when they would complain about having to do something that was a result of a choice they had made.

They didn’t want to do homework after soccer practice because they were too tired? Well, “life is full of choices. You may not have a choice about the homework, but you had a choice about the soccer.”

Too tired on Saturday morning to help with the housework because they stayed up watching a late movie on TV? “Well, that was your choice, and you have to live with the consequences.”

They heard the phrase from their mean ol’ Mama so often, it became an acronym: L-I-F-O-C.

What It Meant Then

Back then, I used the phrase to remind my longsuffering family members that if their “hardship” was a result of a free choice they had made, they really had no reason to complain. Whether they realized it or not, they had chosen that hardship.

Because I heard myself repeat that phrase so often, I am acutely aware of and try to stop myself before I complain – whether or not the cause of complaint has been my choice. All complaining does is remind you and others of your discontent. Sure, complaining sometimes gets results, but at what price? (But that’s a subject for another post.)

What It Means Now

Recently, when I took on a new responsibility, “L-I-F-O-C” came back to haunt me. I had made a commitment to virtual strangers who, sight unseen, are trusting me with proofing and editing posts on their instructional Blogging with Success. I’m excited about the opportunity; it will let me use my abilities and even expand on them.

However, once the commitment was made, I had to ask myself, “Okay, Cheryl. You’re made this choice. What are you willing to give up in order to honor your commitment?”

A Simple Matter of Time

It’s a simple concept: We are each given only 24 hours in a day. When we choose to do one thing, we have decided not to do an infinite number of other things.

Since lists help give me an objective viewpoint, I typed a quick list of items I do now, have promised to do, or want to do.

Of the 21 items on the list:

• Ten use the phrase: “I have promised to” or “I have agreed to.”
• Two begin with, “I like to.” These are self-indulgent – recreational reading and playing computer games (FreeCell and Facebook’s WordTwist, to be specific).
• The rest include “I should” or “I would like to”: exercise more, call my kids more often, clean out those boxes in the basement, play my piano, follow up on blogging how-to’s I’ve printed out.

Oh yes! I also like to sleep and eat and take in a Friday night movie with my husband. And then there’s cooking, housework and laundry.

Decision Time

Before I commit to still another responsibility, I need to look at the list I’ve made and realize that if I take on something new, one of those things will have to go. Some items need to go. Most likely, I’ll discover I’m spending too much time on things that didn’t even make the list!

And I’ll remember L-I-F-O-C. It’s a good phrase – both as a reminder and a warning.

By the way, I’ve now edited the copy on two articles for Blogging with Success (for 9/16 and 9/18) and have discovered it won’t be that much of a time commitment. So — if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s my turn on WordTwist.

Talk to me. How do you decide whether or not to say “No” to projects that come your way? I already have a list of seven considerations, the beginning of another post. I’m sure you can add to my list. Thanks for your help.