Well, it’s on my Teux-Deux list to post a blog Friday morning.

Since I’ve been busy with paying work this week (Yea!), I haven’t written the blog.

Here it is Thursday night. I sure would like to cross that off my list.

However — on my kitchen counter is a big bowl of tomatoes that grows higher and higher as my husband harvests his garden.

It’s 9:48 p.m., and I have a full day again tomorrow.

So, what to do, what to do? Blog? Or go spend an hour freezing tomatoes before they spoil?

The tomatoes win. Can’t stand to see those beautiful things go to waste!

Hey! I think I just did both! Who says you have to make choices?

Talk to Me. Do you have a garden this year? What do you give up to make sure you don’t waste the excess?

“How many old people does it take to change a light bulb?”

“Change?!!!!!!”

Growing older is often associated with an unwillingness to change.

Sadly, it’s often true. You may have heard phrases like “I’m too old to think about that” or “I’m too set in my ways to change now.”

Accepting and Adapting to Inevitable Changes

From the womb to the tomb and beyond, our physical bodies constantly undergo change.

At the beginning of our lives, these changes are welcomed. We learn to talk, to walk, to run; we grow larger and stronger. But as we age, physical change means loss: of hearing, vision, smell, taste, and even touch. (Ohio Dept. of Aging)

Largely, these changes are beyond our control, so we’re forced to adapt. We turn up the sound on our TV’s; we purchase glasses.

Change by Choice

Beyond adapting to these inevitable changes, I maintain there are other changes we can choose to make: changes that can mean the difference between thriving and merely surviving.

Resisting Intellectual Changes: “I don’t want to.”

We can use aging as an excuse not to change our minds about anything, expressed in statements like:

1. I’ve always believed [fill in the blank]. I’m too old now to change. If you challenge me with any new ideas, you’re either a fool or an extremist.
2. Even though I may be bitter about things that have happened in the past, don’t make me examine myself or question my own integrity. (I’m afraid of what I might find.)
3. I can’t learn anything new; why try? You can’t teach an old dog new tricks.

We need to make sure we don’t confuse steadfastness with stubbornness. Steadfastness means being true to a belief system we have chosen after careful consideration of the alternatives – not merely giving in to traditional beliefs or peer pressure.

To borrow from Jeff Foxworthy, you might be stubborn if you say – or think, “Don’t confuse me with the facts.”

Resisting Physical Changes: “It’s too hard.”

1. I’m overweight. At my age, there’s nothing I can do about it.
2. I have an age-related disease; there’s nothing I can do about it.

This is the talk of a victim who has given up. But we all know of people – of all ages – who overcome extraordinary physical challenges to achieve extraordinary accomplishments.

Maybe this is where stubbornness – or call it determination – is of value. Maybe that’s what we lose as we age. We accept too much, accept physical states as inevitable that are not, such as weight gain and chronic disease.

I recently met a woman in her 80’s who had lost about 30 pounds in the last couple of years. Was it more difficult for her to lose weight than for those in their 30’s or even 40’s? Of course! Was it worth it? Of course!

Making Hard Choices

It’s hard to admit you have been wrong all these years.

It’s hard to learn new things. It takes longer than it used to, and we don’t retain it all.

It’s hard to exercise, or build muscle, or sacrifice favorite TV programs to get out and move.

Laziness – or convincing ourselves we’re just too tired – may be key here. Sometimes we just don’t want to go to the trouble of changing anything.

But think of the consequences of changes we make by choice. An exciting, fresh outlook. An open mind. New discoveries. Renewed mental and physical energy. Greeting each day with gratitude and enthusiasm for the challenges it will bring.

Talk to me. Have you made some difficult changes in your outlook or lifestyle? What did you have to sacrifice? Was it worth it?

When my children lived at home, they heard that often from me.

I would use the phrase when they would complain about having to do something that was a result of a choice they had made.

They didn’t want to do homework after soccer practice because they were too tired? Well, “life is full of choices. You may not have a choice about the homework, but you had a choice about the soccer.”

Too tired on Saturday morning to help with the housework because they stayed up watching a late movie on TV? “Well, that was your choice, and you have to live with the consequences.”

They heard the phrase from their mean ol’ Mama so often, it became an acronym: L-I-F-O-C.

What It Meant Then

Back then, I used the phrase to remind my longsuffering family members that if their “hardship” was a result of a free choice they had made, they really had no reason to complain. Whether they realized it or not, they had chosen that hardship.

Because I heard myself repeat that phrase so often, I am acutely aware of and try to stop myself before I complain – whether or not the cause of complaint has been my choice. All complaining does is remind you and others of your discontent. Sure, complaining sometimes gets results, but at what price? (But that’s a subject for another post.)

What It Means Now

Recently, when I took on a new responsibility, “L-I-F-O-C” came back to haunt me. I had made a commitment to virtual strangers who, sight unseen, are trusting me with proofing and editing posts on their instructional Blogging with Success. I’m excited about the opportunity; it will let me use my abilities and even expand on them.

However, once the commitment was made, I had to ask myself, “Okay, Cheryl. You’re made this choice. What are you willing to give up in order to honor your commitment?”

A Simple Matter of Time

It’s a simple concept: We are each given only 24 hours in a day. When we choose to do one thing, we have decided not to do an infinite number of other things.

Since lists help give me an objective viewpoint, I typed a quick list of items I do now, have promised to do, or want to do.

Of the 21 items on the list:

• Ten use the phrase: “I have promised to” or “I have agreed to.”
• Two begin with, “I like to.” These are self-indulgent – recreational reading and playing computer games (FreeCell and Facebook’s WordTwist, to be specific).
• The rest include “I should” or “I would like to”: exercise more, call my kids more often, clean out those boxes in the basement, play my piano, follow up on blogging how-to’s I’ve printed out.

Oh yes! I also like to sleep and eat and take in a Friday night movie with my husband. And then there’s cooking, housework and laundry.

Decision Time

Before I commit to still another responsibility, I need to look at the list I’ve made and realize that if I take on something new, one of those things will have to go. Some items need to go. Most likely, I’ll discover I’m spending too much time on things that didn’t even make the list!

And I’ll remember L-I-F-O-C. It’s a good phrase – both as a reminder and a warning.

By the way, I’ve now edited the copy on two articles for Blogging with Success (for 9/16 and 9/18) and have discovered it won’t be that much of a time commitment. So — if you’ll excuse me, I think it’s my turn on WordTwist.

Talk to me. How do you decide whether or not to say “No” to projects that come your way? I already have a list of seven considerations, the beginning of another post. I’m sure you can add to my list. Thanks for your help.

This is NOT Mrs. Miller.

What do you think when someone speaks of being “90 years young”?

I’ve always heard that expression as a cute substitute for “old.” Since the expression rarely refers to someone younger than 50, it’s at once an admission of age and a determination not to be categorized.

On NPR’s August 9^th Weekend Edition, in a story entitled “Remember: The Ball is Your Friend,” essayist and “literary activist” E. Ethelbert Miller tells about his 59-year-old wife’s decision to play basketball for the first time in her life. In passing, he mentions that the “challenge” he and his wife face is “being 60-young instead of 60-old.”

So I’m not the only one!

Somehow, the number 60 motivates some of us to stop and ask, “Will I be 60-young, or 60-old?” It seems to be a time for decision:  ”From here on, will I travel down a decline, up an incline, or just try to keep the road as level as possible?”

Trying to keep the road level is to hold on to the status quo, to maintain your standard of living, your present level of health and activity. It is saying, “I can relax now. Life is good; I want it to stay just this way.”

That seems reasonable, but is it possible? Can I hold onto a job using only the job skills I’ve always used? Can I maintain my level of health without exerting some effort? Can I eat the same amount I’ve always eaten without putting on pounds? Can I guarantee that family circumstances will remain the same?

Trying to keep the road level could also be, “Life may not be the way I want it, but there’s nothing I can do about it.” In essence, this is the same thing as choosing to decline.

I try to avoid using expressions such as “at my age” or “I’m too old” as a reason not to try something new. Because somewhere, someone my age is getting on a bicycle for the first time in 45 years, or learning to swim, joining a women’s basketball team or starting a new business. Obviously, age has nothing to do with it.

In last summer’s Olympics in Beijing, 41-year-old American swimmer Dara Torres not only won the gold medal for the 50-meter freestyle event, but set a new world record. Her philosophy? “Age is just a number.”

Does she have to train differently than her younger competitors? Of course. Because there’s no denying that aging causes certain physical and mental changes, even deterioration, beyond our control.

At age 85 or 90, getting out of bed may be the biggest challenge to an arthritis-riddled body. I hope I’ll be blessed enough to find out. Until then, I’m determined not to take the downward slope into old age, nor to accept the status quo.

Will it mean leaving my comfort zone? Absolutely! You can’t reach the mountaintop unless you climb.

What do you think? Is it possible to maintain the status quo without extra effort? Is it foolish to think we can still have our choice of challenges into our 80’s and 90’s?